Advice for couples: learn to say, "No" this holiday

As a couple that has been together for more than a half-century I can tell you one thing that has not changed: holiday stress. It is the touchy topics of money, family and weight gain all wrapped into one. Not to mention these optional aggravating circumstances: Too much drinking and partying, maxing out the credit cards, the relative or friend who traditionally puts the moves on your loved one, the kids who are turning into brats with each passing year, the list is endless.
What has helped us in the past is realizing at the beginning of each season that none of this- NONE OF THIS- is mandatory. We are not required, not matter how guilty a relative or friend makes us feel, to run this gauntlet. It is fraught with dysfunction, addiction and resentment. It is also filled with love and joy but I think you get where I'm going with this. Don't let the good be invisible because all you see is the chore of getting through another year. My gift for you this holiday: learn to say, "no thank-you".
Some of these things have kept Jack and I talking to each other by New Year's Day:

• A mutually agreed upon spending limit on each other.
• One maybe two holiday parties a weekend.
• Always having a car (or other mode of escape) with us when we visit relatives. "Running to the store" has been a huge stop gap when I feel the buttons being pushed.
• Saving at least one holiday for ourselves (no travel, no hosting, no presents except to each other).
• No drinking (smoking pot, whatever) out of sheer boredom. (Because believe me, things REALLY get interesting).

We would love to hear your tips for surviving the holidays. In the meantime, please try one of these and I bet that you will really enjoy your time with loved ones! -Bob