Advice for couples: learn to say, "No" this holiday

As a couple that has been together for more than a half-century I can tell you one thing that has not changed: holiday stress. It is the touchy topics of money, family and weight gain all wrapped into one. Not to mention these optional aggravating circumstances: Too much drinking and partying, maxing out the credit cards, the relative or friend who traditionally puts the moves on your loved one, the kids who are turning into brats with each passing year, the list is endless.
What has helped us in the past is realizing at the beginning of each season that none of this- NONE OF THIS- is mandatory. We are not required, not matter how guilty a relative or friend makes us feel, to run this gauntlet. It is fraught with dysfunction, addiction and resentment. It is also filled with love and joy but I think you get where I'm going with this. Don't let the good be invisible because all you see is the chore of getting through another year. My gift for you this holiday: learn to say, "no thank-you".
Some of these things have kept Jack and I talking to each other by New Year's Day:

• A mutually agreed upon spending limit on each other.
• One maybe two holiday parties a weekend.
• Always having a car (or other mode of escape) with us when we visit relatives. "Running to the store" has been a huge stop gap when I feel the buttons being pushed.
• Saving at least one holiday for ourselves (no travel, no hosting, no presents except to each other).
• No drinking (smoking pot, whatever) out of sheer boredom. (Because believe me, things REALLY get interesting).

We would love to hear your tips for surviving the holidays. In the meantime, please try one of these and I bet that you will really enjoy your time with loved ones! -Bob

DVD released about 1/2 century romance between two men

NOVEMBER 15, 2007
Contact: Stu Maddux (323) 397-2951 stumaddux@bobandjack.org
Photographs and trailer available at: http://bobandjack.org

DOCUMENTARY ABOUT HALF-CENTURY ROMANCE BETWEEN TWO MEN RELEASED ON DVD

Film highlights how the two gay men met in the military, how they confronted the troops in their unit and how they struggle today as an unmarried couple in their eighties.

(SILVER LAKE, CA) In 1952 an Army sergeant began going out with his commanding officer. Their romance grew until the rumors became anonymous tips to headquarters. They avoided court-martial by confronting their entire unit. That pivotal moment cemented Bob and Jack together for the rest of their lives. 52-years later they share how they've remained a couple: how one man left his wife and children, how together they moved to a small town and became a fixture in the community, and today how they survive in their eighties without the benefits of marriage.

Bob and Jack’s 52-Year Adventure, an award winning documentary about their relationship by filmmaker Stu Maddux, has just been released through the film's production company MAD STU Media, LLC available at Amazon.com and the film's website http://bobandjack.org.

"It's been just amazing. People trying to find lasting love or fighting for the right to marry seem to be so inspired by our story,” says Bob Claunch, now 82, from their home in Los Angeles, CA. " We didn’t have it easy but we didn’t give up.”

“That’s what makes the film a good message for young people too”, says partner Jack Reavley, 83. “We especially hope young gay men and women know that they can have a lasting relationship like we have despite the message out there that you can’t.”

Bob and Jack’s 52-Year Adventure has already screened at more than 30 international festivals to critical acclaim:

"It's a real life love story to rival "Casablanca." - Boston Globe
"...an extraordinary documentary not to be missed." -Gay and Lesbian Times

"Anyone in a relationship, gay or straight, will see something of themselves in these two lovely and still in-love men..." -AfterElton, LogoOnline.com

MORE REVIEWS


"We certainly had great interest from smaller distributors" says, Stu Maddux the film's director and producer. "But we want to be in the front of production companies attempting self-distribution. The traditional distribution formulas are so lopsided that it's become much wiser in the long-term to hold onto an asset that is so evergreen in nature." ABOUT THE PRODUCERS

DVD BONUS ELEMENTS:
Feature run time: 42 minutes
Q@A session with Bob Claunch, Jack Reavley and director Stu Maddux
Archival Photo Gallery
Theatrical Trailer
2nd Extended Q&A session from film premiere

BONUS FILM: 1961 anti-gay educational film, "BOYS BEWARE"


RELEASE/STREET DATE: November 19, 2007
Retail price: $19.99
Rated: NR
Available at: Amazon.com and http://bobandjack.org/dvd.html

For complete reviews, photographs and trailer visit: http://bobandjack.org

Bob and Jack's 52-Year Adventure at LIGLFF

At FilmOut in San Diego earlier this year

Saturday evening Bob and Jack's 52-Year Adventure, our life-story together and how we made it this far, will be at the Long Island Gay & Lesbian Film Festival. I hope you like it and that you'll let Jack and I know what you think of it all.
We really need reviews on our Amazon.com page too because... we just released the DVD!
I'm sorry that we couldn't make it to Long Island or to Bern, Switzerland. It's so difficult for anyone to travel at the moment much less two men in their eighties. We are doing just fine though. Happy and in good health. We just celebrated Jack's 84th birthday last week.

Some of my favorite pictures: Jack a few years ago...and many years ago!

If you'd like to learn more about us, Jack and I did a wonderful Q&A session here in LA that's on the DVD. I just played it again a few days ago and didn't realize that one of the extras is the anti-gay film "Boys Beware". Amazing!



-Bob

BOB AND JACK SCREEN IN BERN, SWITZERLAND THIS WEEKEND

Bern, Switzerland

Hello everyone!
Jack and I are doing just fine and getting ready for another pleasant Fall here in Los Angeles. Today was the first day of real coolness. I say "coolness" but the temperature is forecast for 39 F in Bern, Switzerland this weekend. That's where Bob and Jack's 52-Year Adventure will be screening on Saturday and Sunday. Details are here. It looks like such a beautiful spot and we wish we were going. We will be there with you in spirit though!